Today, and periodically in the future I will present the totally bastardized version of those angels in adoption pieces. I realize that this may be offensive to some, however deal with it. Im highlighting the realities of adoption. The selection criteria for this award are quite stringent, as there are many qualified candidates from which to choose. Way too many! To enter into the Cluelessness hall of fame, requires a harvard like admissions process– how do we select 1 from 100,000 candidates? But, since adoption is all about selection, finally, I, one of the “Chosen” gets to choose. I can finally hand pick, select, tell you how special you are..
This week, it was truly hard to narrow it down. Runner’s up include: those who use adoption and GOD (or jesus, biblical references, etc.) in the same sentence. Examples include: God led me to this child, God wants us to adopt, but he only wants us to have a healthy infant, etc. Please spare us that adoption is part of God’s master plan. Christian compassion, which I personally do not claim to display, and as I recall from catholic theology classes, involves caring for the sick and pariahs of the world, not selectively choosing babies based on specialized characteristics. ohh those chinese ones are such little dolls aren’t they? can I have one too?
Other contenders for this award include the couple who were inspired to adopt by watching an Oprah special on abused children in South Africa, which led them to want to “save” children, in turn they chose to adopt a Korean baby boy, and have a paypal link on their website, so you too, can help them fund their huminatarian act of “saving” this child from a life of…. being a poor Korean in Korea?? Anyway, God led them to the child, and I should admire their heroism and courage.
And as I write this it appears the Jolie-Pitts are looking to adopt another child from Vietnam, because this will somehow help all the “third world” children of the world obtain food, water, education and medical care…..and yes, once again, the media can show how ‘wonderful’ it is to adopt…
But this weeks winner goes to all of the couples pimping themselves out online in “Dear Birthmother” profiles. To some extent I pity the cluelessness of these people, and perhaps I should show even a bit of compassion that they are infertile, bla bla bla. However, these profiles are offensive, disgusting and should be banned! And 95% of them use God and Adoption in the same sentence! For those who are unfamiliar with these profiles, they can be found on many major adoption web pages. Usually, they include some unfortunate couple who cannot conceive on their own claiming to admire the strength and courage of a single mother making the right choice to relinquish her child. They include pictures of houses, facts about how happily married they are, how they spend every Christmas at Aunt Lil’s, and how they live on a quiet cul-de-sac. (this is of utmost importance, we all know how bad it is to grow up living on a busy main street, im sure its detrimental to a childs well being). Often they claim to offer mothers openness in adoption (sure), and have links to call their lawyer directly. Basically, what they say is:
you, as a screwed up sinner, have made the right decision to give us your child forever. Clearly, the fact that we are married, have more money than you, live in the suburbs in a house, and are of some religious persuasion proves that we will raise your child better than you, and thus entitles us to your kid. Look at these happy pictures! Come on, don’t you want your kid to be smilin’, happy, and god fearin’? We promise, it will never ever turn out like any of those “other” angry adoptees! We’re not like that, and they are just ingrates.
We believe in open adoption, we may even send you a picture of the kid once in a while! We will continously remind them of how you loved them so much, that you gave them to us to save them!
So, congratulations, to those “dear birthmother” couples, you are this weeks winners!
This weeks prize is a dump-truck full of sand for you to bury your heads in! Use it when your kid starts to ask those dreaded questions…..